Sarah Allen Benton | Understanding the High Functioning Alcoholic

September 8, 2009

Dr. Kent: Welcome back to Sound Authors. Well, on the show today we were just talking with the author of a great novel about what if a therapist could go to the White House before the former President finished taking office, and now we’re continuing with another therapist, a counselor, a licensed mental health counselor Sarah Allen Benton, and she has written a book called Understanding the High Functioning Alcoholic: Professional Views and Personal Insights as a recovering alcoholic herself, and as one who works with many alcoholics, this will be a great conversation. Welcome to the show, Sarah Allen Benton.

Sarah Allen Benton: Thank you for inviting me.

Dr. Kent: Well tell me about this book.

Sarah Allen Benton: Well, it’s a pretty comprehensive book in that there’s research, I’ve done interviews with sober, high functioning alcoholics and addiction experts, and there’s also my own general writing, starting from the age of 14 when I first started drinking, and some reflective pieces at the end of each chapter. So it really kind of shows from a clinical perspective and then from a first person personal perspective as well.

Dr. Kent: Well, and alcoholism is still, it’s been around since alcohol has been around, of course, but it’s still such a taboo topic in so many ways. You know, you go to parties and there’s always alcohol. You know, people go to church and there’s alcohol, it’s everywhere.

Sarah Allen Benton: Yeah, and that’s part of why I wrote this book is that it is part of our culture. Drinking is part of it, so when a person either has to get sober or is an alcoholic, they oftentimes because of the stigma don’t want to either admit it, or they don’t feel comfortable reaching out for help. And that’s, you know, helping, hoping to change the face of the alcoholic. I think for so long the stereotype has sort of been that homeless person on the street, but you know, but even my book cover is a young woman with a professional suit on, and kind of changing the face of what it means to be alcoholic, that it’s not so much about the outside things, but really what happens to you when you drink alcohol.

Dr. Kent: Well, and as a person who went to a prestigious small college as I did, there was a ton of alcohol on campus, and people getting drunk all the time, and I know it hasn’t changed much, and it’s a complicated thing for the administrations of those colleges, because it’s such a, I don’t want to say problem, but it’s such an occurrence all over. And all of these brilliant young minds then go out into the world, and they’re successful people but they’re also alcoholics.

Sarah Allen Benton: Well, you know, and I do address that, I do a chapter on college in particular. But what happens is for an individual to start drinking before the age of 15, they have about a 40% greater chance of developing alcohol problems. So what we’re seeing in college is there are people that are drinking heavily, but about 72% will phase out of that type of drinking. So it’s just a phase and they move on and sort of normalize their drinking. But there’s 22% who don’t, either they didn’t drink, or they developed alcohol related problems. And you know, as we move into young adulthood, which I personally noted, when I was drinking I started to stand out. When your college drinking ways don’t die, it really can start to affect you in many ways. But again, being part of our society and part of the business world, you know, people are moving on from college and continuing that type of heavy drinking, and it can eventually develop into a problem or already be a problem before the person even realizes it.

Dr. Kent: Well and it’s, so tell me about, you talk about “high functioning alcoholic.” What does that mean?

Sarah Allen Benton: Well, a high functioning alcoholic is an alcoholic, so it’s not a different type of alcoholism. But what it is is a person who is able to maintain their outside life so they’re able to show up for school, for work, and they’re either providing for their family, or they’re really able to keep that…I’m sorry…(cough)

Dr. Kent: No trouble. The coughs are going around a little bit.

Sarah Allen Benton: I’m sorry. They keep their outside life apart. (cough) So sorry. They’re able to keep their outside life looking good, but on the inside they’re still struggling with alcoholism. So it’s not that they’re losing their job and they’re losing their housing, which is what many people expect for alcoholics. And so because they’re able to maintain that outside façade, it really increases their denial as well as the denial of all those people around them.

Dr. Kent: And you talk about denial, that’s a big part of alcoholism, right?

Sarah Allen Benton: Exactly. And it’s even greater for people who are able to function, because you know, it’s harder to have denial when you’re losing your job and you’re losing your house and losing your family. But…

Dr. Kent: And that’s kind of a stigma, right? It’s, “Oh, I’m not an alcoholic because I’m holding down my job, I’m, you know, everything’s going fine.”

Sarah Allen Benton: Exactly, and that feeds into that denial of, “Well, I don’t have a problem because I’m (inaudible) academically. You know, I personally, I graduated with honors, I went on to have a successful career. But that didn’t change the fact that I was still drinking alcoholically when I drank. And that’s the thing that people don’t understand. You know, you don’t have to be a daily drinker to be alcoholic, you don’t have to drink in the morning. There are always myths out there, and really what it is is when you know, a person takes a drink who is alcoholic, it sets off a craving for them to drink more, and they have trouble controlling their intake and may end up having blackouts or passing out. They’re obsessing about alcohol, even if they’re not drinking. So say, they’re drinking on the weekends, binge drinking, but they’re thinking about it all weekend long, and they’re fixated on when they’re going to drink, who they’re going to drink with. And they’re compromising their values and morals when they’re drinking and behaving in ways that are not like them. And they’re continuing this pattern even when they’re trying to control it. You know, I spent about four years trying to cut back on my drinking, and I just couldn’t get under control.

Dr. Kent: So you, it’s a very insightful book, and even what you’re talking about now can be obviously a very important step for many people, among many different sort of patterns for healing. What do you recommend, you know, how does someone figure out if they’re an alcoholic, how do they know if it’s a problem, and how do they get help?

Sarah Allen Benton: Well there, you know, again I sort of listed off some of the characteristics of people who are having an alcohol problem, but there are so many other warning signs. And I, actually on my website I have online some links to online screening tools that may be helpful for individuals to sort of figure out what, where their drinking falls on the continuum of drinking problems. And if they determine, you know, I always recommend, try cutting back. You know, try controlling your drinking and see if you’re able to. Because that’s a huge sign if you have, if you’re alcoholic or not. And if you do determine that you are in that, or you know, you have a problem and want to reach out for help, there are programs that are throughout this country that are free, there’s Alcoholics Anonymous, Smart Recovery, and Women for Sobriety. Even going to your doctor, going to a therapist, just starting somewhere, taking action, telling a friend, telling somebody that you think you need to get help. And holding yourself accountable in effect.

Dr. Kent: Well, and so from that step your book is talking about this high functioning alcoholic, and I find it fascinating because it’s not often that people will talk about alcoholics as those people that you meet at work that are just like everybody else, outwardly.

Sarah Allen Benton: I know, and that’s the piece that I thought you know, there are a ton of books out there that are on the subject, but so often they’re just the tragic stories of people who have lost everything, very dramatic, and that’s you know, the movies that are made, that’s (inaudible), but the high functioning alcoholic is an interesting topic because it’s not as obvious. It’s a more subtle situation, and it’s one in which we see everywhere. In fact, at least 20% of alcoholics are high functioning, and a lot of them are not getting help because they’re functioning. So they’re kind of sliding through the cracks in terms of even people you know. It’s harder to confront someone when they’re showing up for work every day, and they’re doing well in school, and they’re in medical school. You know, I have stories of sober high functioning alcoholics who are reflecting back on making it all the way through medical school drinking daily, one of them I talked about. And so it really does, kind of baffles people that they’re able to function yet be alcoholic, and it’s not a topic we talk about more, and that’s definitely why I wrote this book, because I felt that it was a real gap in the literature out there. And for people who are high functioning when they go to get help they feel, kind of like they stand out, like their story isn’t dramatic enough, but that doesn’t mean that they don’t, that they’re not alcoholics.

Dr. Kent: And now, in this book you revealed a whole lot of your own personal story, and that takes a lot of courage as an author, but it’s also a great experience in a lot of ways. What was it like bringing yourself into this book?

Sarah Allen Benton: Well, it was really a gift. You know, I’ve been writing since I was a young girl. I started probably around 10 or 11 journaling. And I looked back upon my writing and I realized that I have been writing about drinking since I started drinking at the age of 14. So I decided to include these journal entries with some reflective pieces on those journal entries to sort of tell the reader what was really going on for me in that experience. And again, writing for me has always been very healing. I think it was, it was a risk to put it out there and to share this part of myself publicly. I am, you know, I am a therapist, but I felt that it’s one thing to speak clinically about something and another to show the reader through my own experiences that I understand and that I get it, and hopefully people out there who read it will connect with my story as well, and possible reach out for help. It was, you know, there were some scary moments, but I do feel that in the end I’m willing to put myself out there if it’s going to help other people.

Dr. Kent: Well, it’s been a real honor chatting with you. I’ve been speaking to Sarah Allen Benton, the book is called Understanding the High Functioning Alcoholic: Professional Views and Personal Insights, and one website is highfunctioningalcoholic.com. Can you give us some more information?

Sarah Allen Benton: Sure, yeah the book, there is a lot of information on the website, and the book is available through Greenwood.com, BarnesandNoble.com, and Amazon.com, as well as on that website. But there are also resources for people who want to get help that are on my website, as well as those who have loved ones, you know, there’s a program called Al Anon that’s helpful for (inaudible) friends or family members that are concerned about, and that are impacting their life negatively. So it’s just important for everyone to kind of get this topic out there and out in the open, and to do something about it and not be ashamed to reach out.

Dr. Kent: Well, it’s been such an honor chatting with you, and I wish you all the best of success with the book, and people can go to highfunctioningalcoholic.com to find out more.

Sarah Allen Benton: Thank you so much for having me, it’s been a pleasure, and thank you for addressing this topic.

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